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Sad Days

May 22, 2013 Posted in:Uncategorized

There have been some very sad days lately.

My friend Meri’s beautiful girl Caitlin died last Friday after a long, strenuous fight against her brain tumor. You can read an article about how much joy and life this girl squeezed into nine years and 11 months right here. The world has indeed lost some of its sunshine.

foggy winter morning pacific northwest jessica nichols

I find it very hard to find words because there are no words for a loss this large. As a mama, I cannot imagine the pain of losing my child. As a cancer survivor, I am reminded of the randomness of cancer — who it strikes, who survives and who dies. I feel very raw and vulnerable during these sad, dark days.

At the same time, I know that I must not stay in a sad, dark place. Every day, I must find something beautiful, something to smile about, something to love. So I find myself staring at my garden blooms, or holding the Noodle a little bit longer than he’d like during a hug. Sometimes, I ignore the chores and sometimes the chores are a good distraction. Sometimes I don’t feel like eating, sometimes cooking is the best thing to do. Sometimes I cry till my head aches, sometimes I watch a funny cat video on YouTube.

And isn’t this the gist of life? We are neither able to maintain deep levels of despair, nor majestic happy highs for hour upon hour, until the day is over. Instead we bobble along a spectrum sometimes in a circuitous fashion, and sometimes in a rollercoaster-like way. Sometimes it’s like driving down the interstate for hundreds of miles and sometimes it’s more like a switchback.

I typed this post from the plane on my way to attend the funeral. When there are no words, at least this time, there can be hugs.

I will resume a normal blogging schedule next week.

P.S. Last Friday, hours before I found out about Caitlin, I sent out my email newsletter which contained a video in which I spoke about Caitlin. If you aren’t on my email list, you can view the video here. I am going to extend my offer through May 31, 2013 to subscribers, so sign up here. I am also going to be hosting a lemonade stand for Alex’s Lemonade Stand Foundation on Saturday, June 8th in honor of Caitlin’s 10th birthday (on June 6th). More on that later…

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Scene Around Home: Garden Roses

May 16, 2013 Posted in:garden //portland //spring

I am not a gifted gardener, and our rental home has a rather lush, old yard that we let grow wild and crazy. Living in the Pacific Northwest, it’s not hard to do. Since we moved in almost two years ago, we have had a handful of volunteer trees pop up in various parts of the yard. Yes, trees. We have lilacs, blackberries, rhododendrons, ferns galore and of course, being Portland, there are roses. Two of the four roses are blooming now, here are quick iPhone snaps of the pastel pink and pale yellow roses from my garden.

pastel pink garden rose portland oregon by Jessica Nichols Sweet Eventide Photographypale yellow garden rose portland oregon by Jessica Nichols Sweet Eventide Photography

I don’t know what variety these roses are being the accidental gardener that I am. Now, my square foot garden, aka my mini-urban farm, is not accidental. I have my strawberries in and plan to put in my kale and lettuce soon. Now you may think I’m a little behind planting lettuce in mid-May, but actually I am way ahead of schedule compared to last year when I planted everything in July.

If you know what my roses are, please tell me in the comments. I would also love to know what is growing in your garden and what if any veggies you are growing.

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One Branch: Cancer Profiles

May 14, 2013 Posted in:cancer //One Branch //sweet eventide photography

I would like to profile some of the people and charities that are connected to One Branch, my postcard subscriptions for people to support loved ones with cancer.

one branch cancer support postcard subscription by sweet eventide photography

I will start with the one I know the best, me. If you are new to my blog, you can learn a lot about me by reading this Willow Glen Resident newspaper article written about me in 2005. I was training for a century with the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society that ultimately I was unable to do because of my lymphoma acting up. Team in Training is celebrating their 25th year of fundraising for blood cancers. Back in 2005, I raised $6,000 for research and I hope One Branch sales will add to their coffers.

Saturday, May 11th was the 13th anniversary of my lymphoma diagnosis. I still remember the phone call, but the rest of the day has disappeared from my memories. I remember before the call, and I remember the call, and I remember feeling 1,000 things at once after I hung up the phone. Then, I remember nothing. I am sure a lot of people can relate to that feeling of the world screeching to a halt. Last year on my NHL anniversary, I dedicated my post to my Stop NHL family, cancer survivors everywhere and all those left behind.

It’s more poignant than ever to me now, seeing what my sweet friend and mama Meri is going through with her precious daughter. Stay tuned for the next cancer profile!

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Ten Years of Motherhood

May 10, 2013 Posted in:Uncategorized

My son turned 10 on Tuesday.

I had a lot of fun birthday photos to share on my blog, but then…my friend Meri got devastating news about her daughter Caitlin.

And I really don’t have much to say right now except I am so grateful that I am a mother to my wonderful, healthy son. I am beyond lucky that I’ve had ten years already with him.

Hold tight to love, that’s all I know.

That’s really all we have.

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Peony Season

May 6, 2013 Posted in:peonies //portland //spring

Peonies are appearing in Portland and I couldn’t be more excited. On Friday, I bought these three pink peonies as a gift for my mother-in-law who was flying in late that night.

three peony photographs red pink bouquet by jessica nichols sweet eventide photography

Aren’t they delicious? I have one peony bush in my yard and there are about 8 buds this year. Last year there were only three. I can’t wait to photograph them!

Happy Monday!

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Bridgewater Gardens - Those are some beautiful peony flower photos!May 8, 2013 – 11:18 am